I've seen a lot of posts from novice coxswains concerning rower-"attitude" problems. Trust me, it's not the rower-more than likely it's in how you're handling the rower. More than likely, it's in how you talk to the rower. How you are looked at by the rower (no, inter-gender coxswains, it's not how your stroke seat looks at you in a uni). More than likely, you can do something about it.

            Let's face it, we're just plain smaller than other people. Especially rower-sized people. Getting someone who is sometimes fully twice your size to listen to you can seem hard, but there are definitely ways that you can get the job done.

            Voice control, for instance, is often-times a make-or-break attribute for a coxswain. You don't need a gravelly "I smoke fifteen packs of cigarettes a day" kind of voice, but for some reason that is what a lot of coxswains (I've noticed that women deepen their voices on a consistent basis) choose to do. All you truly need is that sense of purpose behind what you say. Carefully chosen words and a drive behind them. We, my fellow vertically challenged, must use the words we speak like our oars, and the pressure on our blades is the attitude with which we deliver those words. If you deliver in a complete command-style, you will only be "rowing" at three-quarters pressure. If you beg your rowers to complete commands and calls, you'll be dead in the water. If you can give the rowers a reason to complete a call or command, the boat will fly. The tone of voice can't be urgent (unless the situation really is urgent), can't be panicked, can't be angry, can't be sad...all you should be passing on down the shell is excitement. Constructive criticism, as cliche as that catchphrase is, is an incredible tool in getting rowers to listen.

            When you've got a big voice and the rowers still won't listen, sometimes you just need to get your hands dirty. Hop on the ergo with the team and sweat and bleed with them. Sometimes this is necessary, sometimes it's not. But, hey, what should you have against burning a few discrepancies in your coxswain diet off? Working out with the team has a positive effect on how they perceive you. Coxswains don't typically prove themselves through physical challenges (we compare each other by how straight our courses were, or how effective each others' calls were, etc.) but rowers are physically competitive people. They know how to get tired and sore and have a good sweat; sometimes all a rower needs is to see you in spandex. Now, if you're a girl coxing guys, this might get you a date, too. Don't take it. Inter-coxial relationships are much better. Ladies, my number is...mmm, at the bottom of the post.

            If you've gone through all this-well, if you're still having problems, most likely it's with one or two rowers. In which case, you have two options: you take ‘em out for a brewskie and have a nice talk, or you can come down hard on them while they're in the shell. I'm not going to lie, calling a rower a jackass in the shell is not only simple and quick, but it feels good. But, unfortunately, the effects of such antics are short-lived. Your life might be, too. So, beer is the answer. As always, it all comes down to the beer. Now, a good Guinness (and I'm American, too) can solve a lot of problems. Alas, many Americans don't enjoy the finer things in life, and some prefer Budweiser or Bud Light. But, being underage, I don't have to worry about saying "I can't buy you that because...well, I don't believe in crappy beer," I can beautifully side-step the issue by shrugging and saying, "Hey, sorry." Sometimes a Killians might suffice. Ah, and right up there with Guinness is Oberon, a locally brewed beer, almost the same water my team rows on. Which is disgusting, but it's good stuff.

            Aside from alcohol and conversation, there are other alternatives. I know there are a lot of high-school aged kids reading this site, and you guys can't buy beer. Or you can't get someone to buy you beer. Perhaps you don't even know what beer is. In any case, you may have something just as important. A drivers' license. Not only can this be an aid in finding dates on Friday nights, but it can also be a tool for Rower-Cox communication. Saying "want a ride?" to a rower who biked or ran to practice, or for those of you in high school, a rower that partied too hard and doesn't have a car because his/her parents grounded them after finding several shaved cows outside grazing (don't ask how that happened), can be a valuable thing. Talking in a car, for some reason or another, is infinitely easier than talking while standing. Or sitting, for that matter. Car-sitting is much different.

            Last, and always least, is physical violence. Reducing ourselves to the neanderthal tactics of pre-historic cavemen. And women. Something I'll always remember about last year is one such event. My team was staying in a YMCA for a weekend in order to participate in a big regatta. The floor was padded, pretty much a bunch of gym mats for a floor. Us guys, being guys, decided it would be a good idea to wrestle. I, obviously being the most guy of all the guys, decided to wrestle the second-biggest rower on the team (the largest rower was eating-go figure!). Five minutes later, when I had him in a hammer-lock (but I was bleeding slight from some burns-the kid could throw me around like crazy) and he was tapping-out, I knew I wouldn't have many problems with him listening to me

            So, remember, first is the talking. Next, you sweat a bit. Then comes drinking and driving, and then a bit of wrestling. Now, that might sound like a really good first date to some of you, but if you break-down the first two especially, you'll get a good sense of what I'm talking about.

            Respect comes from those who feel that you've earned it. Whether you've gotten your rowers out of a tight situation, or if you've never put them in a tight situation, you'll be respected as stories roll in about other coxswains. As you head to more and more regattas, your rowers will start to value you as their coxswain instead of the guy that the marshals are screaming at to get off the race course because he wandered his four into an oncoming race. As your rowers are around the boathouse more often, they'll hear about the girl in a different practice session who beached an eight. If you do your job right, praise and respect will come from the rowers, coaches, other coxswains, and you might just win what's behind door number one: a successful season.

            Oh, and for the single available female coxswains, my number is 616-566-7755. Seriously, it is.

GCox